[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
Yeah, I think I'm going the wrong way.
I've obviously made a mistake somewhere.
I mean, I haven't seen any dead bodies
lately, or blood smears or bone piles,
and that's usually a
sign the trail's gone cold.
Yeah, see, there's
probably a ladder here.
Just these one-centimeter
rounded grooves to mock me.
See, if I had a grappling hook,
I could just go "whoosh" up there.
Really, you don't need a physics
degree to grasp the concept.
But the fact that I have one
is just insult to injury!
I guess you don't need an architectural
degree to figure things out, either.
I mean, what if this elevator went out?
Or, what if it was planted with explosives?
So, the question is,
are these plastic explosives,
which are harmless without a detonator,
or are these maybe
nitroglycerin-based,
where, if I start banging
these crates around,
it's the last thing I do on this Earth?
If I'm going to level this place,
I'm not going to be half-assed about it.
I'm going to do it right.
I HAVE TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP!
IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!
Okay, down, down, down, down,
down, down, down, down!
I didn't think this through very well.
I can't keep rationalizing away
everything like this or I'm gonna die!
Trinitrotoluene doesn't care
what mood you're in.
I see stress marks
in the walls, but that's it.
Those weren't firecrackers!
This is...this is a satchel charge!
Oh, that would've been pretty
handy about a minute ago!
Then I could've detonated this
remotely and not risk a cave-in!
[rumbling]
...which...may still happen.
Huh, well, looks like
somebody saw a good show.
I'm starting to question whether
I ever really did have a life
Things get strange down here.
Being electrocuted is old hat
for me now, alright?
Well, it seems to have a pattern.
Don't switch up.
Don't switch up!
Why is it arcing straight into concrete?
So, is my education about electromagnetism
wrong or is the WORLD wrong?
I guess I could jump
these, but if I scuff it,
then it's going to hurt
more than a little bit.
I'll play it safe and just crawl under.
Besides, I really can't recall
any safety advice that says
to run and jump around explosives.
That would be dope if they had
something like this
for hurdles at the Olympics, though.
If a runner screwed up,
he would just explode.
I bet the adrenaline would
increase performance.
Huh, I guess the alien disaster
isn't slowing down production any.
Gotta keep those shareholders happy.
Today's episode is brought to
you by the number 8.
Just what are we shipping anyway?
These look like engine parts.
NO! STOP! STOP THAT! STOP!
Did they just pop out of a box?!
That's Looney Tunes crap!
Well, they caught me off-guard,
I'll give them that.
I wonder if that was their idea or if
it came from up the chain of command.
Yeah, I could envision some
cigar-smoking general ordering this.
"Yah, put two soldiers in a box!
"When the enemy approaches,
they just jump out.
I bet they're both named Jack, too.
Oh. Great. That helps a lot.
Maybe I should've taken the
tram, I don't know.
Then I could've loaded it up with dead
bodies, and just sent it forward.
That would probably creep out
everybody down the line.
If I was working in the lab and this
cartful of dead scientists just rolled in.
It's a real conversation-stopper.
Yeah, these goons write
"Yore dead, Freeman" on the wall,
so I send them back a cartful of bodies.
Psychological warfare worked for
Vlad the Impaler, it can work for me, too.
Okay, looks like more
crates and lasers that way,
let's see what's over this way.
Yeah, I'm not going this way.
All right, so this must be the right way.
That was easy to figure out.
Huh, I guess I'm pretty lucky the
power's still working down here.
Because, if it went out and the
flashlight stopped working,
I guess I'd have to navigate my
way by the light of my muzzle flashes,
which would be less-than-ideal
for a lot of reasons.
"Sector E Material Transfer B"
Yeah, I'm lost.
This doesn't mean anything.
Oh, what the hell, a dead end?
How is that even possible?
Well, I don't want to turn around.
That's even more depressing.
God dammit, I want some pills.
I guess I could just pretend I'm
some giant submarine,
but that wouldn't make
me feel any better.
So, I guess let's check out the--
WHOA-HO-HO-HO-HO, what is that?
Hell's coat rack, I don't think so!
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!
Okay. I think I got them.
Which is why I know there's
one under HERE!
I don't think they can fit in
the drawer.
"Well, here we are in New Mexico,
back on the Laser Corral,
"roundin' up aliens so we can, well,
I dunno what we're gonna do with them."
Okay, I don't want to try and do
a roll through here.
There's no room for error if I'm off.
Glad I didn't hit them with my shotgun.
Okay, I'm going to pretend there's a world
where not all glass is bulletproof.
That's the power of imagination.
Here we have this giant underground
complex and all these lasers,
and instead of having a rave,
we're using it for evil.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he saw me.
I wonder if they're like infants
and think, when they can't see me,
that I've literally disappeared.
No, I guess they're more
developed than that.
God, one of them's in a bunker;
this is going to take all day.
I guess that game doesn't really
work from ten yards away.
Man, killing the soldiers is one
of those chores where,
if I had any option at all,
I'd just put it off.
Actually, now would be a GREAT
time for the lights to go out.
I could make ghost noises and he
might stop firing.
Okay, this isn't working.
I'm going to have to get closer.
Out of the frying pan, into
another frying pan.
God, I'm really slogging through here,
laying down a lot of gunfire...
So that probably means that
this is really just a dead end,
and I've been taking the wrong
path this whole time
since that fork in the track.
I'm going to kill all these people
only to find out they were
guarding some janitor's closet.
Dammit, I can't see anything.
Well, I probably creeped him out
by getting so close to him.
This is sort of like playing "Marco Polo",
except we don't say anything,
we just shoot at each other.
Oh, wait, he's the blind one.
So that means I'm "Polo".
[crackling noise]
Oh, cool! I won!
[crackling noise]
Time for the victory dance!
[crackling noise]
Dahdah, dah dah...wait, wait.
[crackling noise]
There could still be some more players.
[crackling noise]
And what the hell is that crackling sound?
[crackling noise]
So, you're the behind all this!
Okay, let's see if I can go another ten
yards without running into any soldiers.
HECU #1: So, who is this guy, Freeman?
Nope.
HECU #2: They say he was at Ground Zero.
Hey, I'm outside!
HECU #1: Science Team? You think he
was responsible? Sabotage, maybe?
HECU #2: Yeah, maybe.
No! NO!
HECU #2: All I know for sure is
he's been killing my buddies.
HECU #1: Oh yeah, he'll pay.
Oh...ri-
HECU #1: He will definitely p--
There! That's for trying to guilt trip me!
Yeah, the Big Bad Freeman!
OF COURSE! YOU GUYS DIDN'T START SHIT!
I don't know why I'm a patsy,
but I'm not going to take it.
Ahh, I'm outside. All right!
Okay, blast door, blast door. This way.
Man, I can't believe it's night already.
Wait, are these all closed down?
Fine, I'll climb out, I don't care.
Christ! The sandstone just breaks off.
Maybe I can strip down the soldiers'
uniforms and splice one together
out of it.
But that's going to take a while.
That security guy said this track would
take me straight to the surface.
Now what was the LONG way to the surface?